Saturday, June 4, 2011

Heat Seeking Green Missiles


Hello Texas summer.

Triple digits and high humidity, so much so that even the weeds are wilting. I scurry outside on weekends in the early morning to try to get something done before I am chased back into the house. I sit on the couch and look forlornly at the brilliant sunshine illuminating my wilting, gasping plants. Ed or I water everyday from the five-gallon recapture bucket attached to the air conditioner condenser, but the plants still suffer.

Well, not all of them.

Summer is the time that the heat seekers thrive.  I see my Anole lizard family and other wandering geckos more often. My citrus trees are putting out new growth like crazy, and my Bird of Paradise might even bloom for me this year.  I bought two Mandevillas and they are blooming and climbing up their trellis, the hibiscus is really putting on leaves and should be flowering soon.

The real stars are in my vegetable garden.  Peppers, tomatoes, eggplant, squash (wilting but still blooming and setting fruit), and black-eyed peas are all very prolific right now. And then there are the missiles.

The seeds I planted said “Okra”. The plants that grew resemble okra, right down to those lovely flowers. But what is that lurking down there in the dark? Tucked into the silo of leaves are huge, dangerous, heat-seeking missiles. Oh sure, they start out as four inch spears that are excellent on the grill, but five minutes later they become monsters that launch spines. Of course, what better revenge than to eat them – but they are so tough and fibrous they refuse to yield to heat.

I’m calling the Pentagon. Someone needs to warn them. Who knows, maybe I’ll become a defense contractor. Look out world, the green missiles are gonna git ya!

In the mean time, I am searching the Internet for more solutions. I wonder if I could weave a bath mat from their fibers? Or construct a fence? Any other suggestions?